8w3d

Spotting started shortly after it started on Saturday, which is a good thing indeed. I never had cramping with it. I have no idea what caused it. I hope to get an idea at tomorrow's appointment.

Tomorrow is our first official OB appointment and I'm not sure what to expect. I assume pelvic exam, some blood work...

I am anxious for my exam as I just have this dull, achy feeling in my pelvic region. It's not cramps, probably ligament stretching and what not (the book says not to worry, LOL) but we all know I'm a worrier. I just need to hear my OB tell me we're fine. I can make one prediction for tomorrow...blood pressure will be nicht so gut. I've been doing readings at home and they've been horrible. I am taking my device tomorrow to compare readings in the office. Hoping my machine is just off (low battery or something) but I'm not holding my breath on this one. My guess is we'll be seeing a maternal/fetal medicine specialist soon to have them take over my medication management. Right now, I'm on blood pressure medication.

Please keep us in your prayers that we see a baby moving around, with a good heartbeat showing, and measuring on target.

My mood swings are off the chart, hands down. I am having a very difficult time right now controlling it. OK, honestly, I'm not controlling it. They are controlling me. I am a mean, mean person right now. Just downright nasty. Please bear with me. I don't even feel like myself. I have been debating for days now to tell my boss. To tell or not to tell? We're very close, and on one hand I think it would help if he knew what I'm dealing with. Then on the other hand, aren't you supposed to keep quiet until a minimum of 13 weeks? Then again, if something happened to this pregnancy, God forbid, I'd tell him if I was dealing with a loss. Yet I don't want him to start planning for my time out, etc. I think the best advice I can give myself at this time is to see how the OB appointment goes and talk to him. If he thinks I'll be on weekly/bi-monthly appointments due to being high risk and if I need to reduce work stress, then maybe I have that conversation a little earlier. Either way, I'll have an idea tomorrow.

Assuming all progresses well, I believe Feb. 5 we'll announce to the public. That sounds so funny to say. Right now, close friends and immediate family are in-the-know. As soon as this first trimester is over, I'll be able to tell my boss and then my work friends, rest of the family, and most importantly, Miss Alexi. I know she will be estatic. She was asking me the other night why I didn't have a baby in my belly. I'm happy to say this is the first time in a year that I've been able to look at her w/out tearing up. : )