birth story

i woke up at 445am. i had alexi sleep with me so i could get in some extra snuggle time. i showered, got ed up, and finished packing my bag. my sister came up to stay with alexi and bring her up to visit later. i hugged lex, said by to the animals, and we were off. we were supposed to be there at 530am. that's when we left the house...my fault entirely.

i was still having contractions and didn;t want to do extra walking. we had to enter through the er entrance because it was so early. he d ropped me off to park the car, and i stood there alone as reality was slowly starting to set in. we walked the hallways and ended up at l&d, a good 20 minutes late. they didn't know we were coming, even though we were scheduled. they started electronic paper work-they were migrating to a paperless system, which was a pain. i was handed a gown and told to use the rest room. i stood there and started to get a little choked up. just knowing that in a few hours she'd be here with us.

they put me in a bed, hooked me up to monitors, took my blood, and started my iv. they couldn't get the iv in right, and fought with it for awhile. everytime they moved it, it hurt like hell. they finally put tape on it to hold it at a weird angle, as it was the only way it would drip. i was quizzed on my history to enter into my e-chart, among other stupid questions like, "how do you learn best?" wtf? ed and i watched the contraction monitor go up and down with contractions. some were a bit uncomfy. miss anni decided she'd arrive today one way or another.

they started prepping me and my doc arrived. reality slapped me across the face. i started to panic. my blood pressure jumped along with my anxiety. i frantically looked around the triage area, trying to find a way out. maybe i should just try for a regular delivery. i started to cry...and cry...and couldn't calm down. i begged the anesthesiologist for something to calm me down, but said he couldn't. the nurse handed me this stuff to drink that would settle my stomach. i was supposed to take it 30 minutes before surgery, but i held it for at least that long while i was crying. i finally chugged it and walked to the operating room.

i climbed up on the table and the anesthesiologist put something into my iv to calm me down. my blooid pressure started to lower. they were ready to start the spinal block. this is a shot done once versus an epidural which is continuous. i leaned forward and "hugged" the nurse while they did the first stick. it didn't work. he tried again. and again. at least 5 times. it hurt so bad with every poke and i started bawling again. my doctor was pissed off, and went in the hall to talk to ed and then page another anesthesiologist. another one came up, did 2 sticks, but we got it. whew. i laid down and felt my legs disappear. it is the weirdest sensation. then that anesthesiologist left and another came in.

they brought ed in, who sat at my head, behind the curtain. they began cutting and anni was out fairly quickly, at 905am. there was some meconium, which freaked me out. she was screaming-good set of lungs. they suctioned her as i watched them put a tube down her throat, and remove it. her lungs, thankfully, were fully developed and she didn't aspirate any meconium. they measured her apgar, which both were 8's. they called out her weight and length and she stopped crying. they handed her to ed, all wrapped in a blanket with a hat and a purple bow. he leaned her down so i could kiss her cheek and say hello. so pretty. she stayed with us in the operating room for a good 5 minutes before she headed off to the nursery. at this point, another anesthesiologist came in and took over. this was #4. i was starting to feel nauseated from the pressure. i felt like things were being pushed into my chest.

my doc was working on stitching me up and asked if we were done having kids. ed said yes, i said probably. i was finally closed and they moved me off to a bed, all still numb. my doc leans over and tells me that they had to remove my left fallopian tube, that it was cut and they couldn't get the bleeding to stop. i wasn't sure how to feel.

i was wheeled into triage for recovery and the morphine itch began. i was scratching like a crackhead. they gave me three doses of medication to stop the itching, none of them worked. lexi and my sister arrived. things start to get hazy. i remember the lactation nurse coming by. i got another dose of anti-itch which started to knock me out. the lactation nazi took over and handled my breasts and the baby while i was out cold, which was just a LITTLE weird. at least i got to hold anni before i passed out.

i was eventually moved to a room. my bloid pressure started to creep, so they put me on mag sulfate and had me take pills. i was trying to rest but then visitors arrived. too many people. 15 not including myself or anni. that night, i was able to have real food. i had the nursery bring anni to me for just one-on-one time. so different than with my first delivery.

friday my mom came to stay with me during the day while ed got the car seat installed. my blood pressure was still high. i had her bring a back scratcher-the itching was still so bad. i had to get up and shower. boy, did i forget that feeling. youy can't stand up straight and each step hurts. i had to have the nurse help me shower. christy was so funny. she said that this was my husband's dream to have another woman bathing me-ha! i felt tons better after a shower and walked myself to the other wing for post-partum care. i was actually moving around pretty good! my sister helped me unpack. she left and ed's family came up-all of them-in a small room. blood pressure was rising again, as i was getting after alexi for being wild, too many people trying to talk to me at the same time, baby crying. they left and i used the rest room. i stood up off the toilet and blood sprayed on the floor. i called the nurse in, but she didn't think it was from the incision. ed and lex left, the nursery brought anni to me, and we had more bonding time.

saturday i made the tough decision to not allow any more visitors. the blood pressure was so high that they were worried about a stroke. i spent most of the day by myself, with a few visits from ed and lex, but mostly spending time with anni. we watched hercules and alladin, her first disney movies, while i sang her the songs. she's a very alert baby! in the evening, they were closing the post-partum wing and moving us all to l&d again. we packed up and headed back. ed and lex left and i bawled. no idea why i was crying. i wanted to be released a day early and be home with my family. i could see ed was so tired. that night, my cpap mask broke. the hospital brought me one of theirs. i had it on for 2 minutes and took it off. there was no way i was wearing a full mask. i'd deal with mine. i paged my vendor, who wouldn't bring one that night.

by sunday, i was losing it. i needed sleep, but was being woken up every hour for blood pressure readings. my doc came to visit, and ed had to help explain why i was so frustrated, and feeling trapped. he had a regular doc take over care for my blood pressure and he was going to call my psych doc to see about giving me xanax, because i didn't want to take it based on a previous experience. i called my regular doc, bawling, and begging to get me out. he called the hospital and worked with the doctors for my care. i caved that night and took xanax after my anni time and the pressures came down overnight.

monday, i was better. i was released to go and just waiting for my doc to sign paperwork. then my incision started bleeding. twice. the taped me up and sent me home. it was close to 8pm.

tuesday, the incision still bleeding, i went into my doc's office. he said it should stop on it's own, but if it doesn't, it could be a hematoma or blood vessel that's cut under the skin, and i'd have to go back to the OR and be put out. bawling and panicking, we left.

wednesday we found a lump on the other side of the incision. i was told to go to the emergency room. 5 hours later, they said it was cellelitis and sent me home with a prescription. thank goodness my mom and sister came up to care for the kids. poor lex-it was her first day of school. and thank goodness i wasn't going to have to be reopened.

a few days later my incision started bleeding again and wouldn't stop. of course, i panicked again. after a few days, the bleeding stopped for good.

now a month to the date, my blood pressure is managed on a low dose of medication, i am off insulin and taking a pill, and my incision is healed. i still have the lump, which they think is a seroma and will resolve on it's own.